I've something to confess but before that please allow me to ask a few questions & I sincerely hope that you open up your mind and not being bias to any statements that I am making here, you may not experienced it before but that's my true story.
Have you ever been looked down by others especially your peers (girls to be precise because many of them focus sooo much on appearance), judging you that if you're just a fat bump, you don't even have the chance to get into our group (so-called/assumed popular group).
I'm not sure about you but I experienced it most probably back when I was in primary & secondary school, I've quite an ordinary features and I was pretty much fat they called, and now I am still a bit chubby but a lot better as compared to those days and you know what? You couldn't even get anybody to just give a lil more attention to you, some teachers of course, I still remember, they pretty much like those with good looks and some get even worse by judging us (stereotype) as a group of "lazy" students.
I still remember, there's this teacher, that subject I was pretty weak in, I tried asking her some questions because you know I was really really weak in that subject & of course, it's very obvious that I was a lot weaker than the rest of the students, I asked, "Mdm. XXX, I don't know how to do this question, can you please teach me?". Guess what did she answer? "Aiyo!! This question also don't know how to do a!?" Then something else, I don't remember what she added in some more but the fact it, she never even bother to teach me those questions I asked after criticizing you with such harsh words (I presummed it was harsh because you get me? I was just a primary school child). I was quite hurt and demotivated and I thought of giving up this subject because this teacher wouldn't even bother to look at my results. Then it went the same for some years from some other teachers as well. To be honest, it's a sad fact that, there are people like this, judge you based on your look, especially when you are not in good shape.
So, to those teachers who thought that you're so great, you have such power to contribute your knowledge and to serve the society, please be passionate with what you're doing and please stop being an "ASS" or a "BITCH" infront of your students (sorry for my vulgar words). You give huge impacts in their lives, including me. That's why, I dislike being a teacher even though I had the chance to.
Another reason, I dislike being in this field because I experienced something which I don't like most, "forming gangs/groups", boycott the less popular ones and stuff. You would never understand the politics in a school, especially from the principals, from the management department, from the "gangs" and not forgetting "women gossiping skills". I understand women gossips, but when you have a school with only "women" existence, those are not any other ordinary gossips. Those gossips are filled with "jealousies", "hatret", "kiasu" and pretty much the MOST hurtful words that I had ever overheard in my entire life. Besides that, I think Malaysian education system, doesn't really work that efficiently.
To be really clear, IT'S NOT WORKING FOR ME & A LOT OF STUDENTS!!! That's why a lot of them DROPPED OUT FROM SCHOOLS!! NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID,IT's BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR WAY OF TEACHING!! It's because the system is primarily focusing on just academic performances. I would strongly suggest to the authority one day, to consider a system which requires children in their early childhood, to do a personality/ character test, so that they would roughly get an idea on what will that child excel in his/her future & not just based on those subjects you presummed must be scored to catogorized as one of those "SMART" people in the society.
Yea, I was once a temporary teacher in some schools. I want children and students to love me and not hate me and because I hated the system so much, I decided to do something else which I think I can excel in life. Yea, I'm indeed really happy with what I am doing now because I get to decide what I always wanted!
Coming back to "pretty" looks. Yes! I hated this culture so much when people get to judge me all the time and put a label on me that I am not capable of doing this and that because for the reason, I am fat!? I hate to bring in gender discussion when it comes to any topics because I believe in equalities but some men, they only like slim and pretty ones. Some of my tuition mates, boys of course, they laughed so hard at me for being chubby and fat. They want perfect modelly look to consider as "normal good looking" girls. Hey! Come on! Those are celebrities and Models!! Out of 10 girls, how many of them are actually super-modelly, celebrity good looking one!? Didn't you take any probability studies back in your school time!? Most of us in the world are in fact, normal and decent looking which I think it's more than sufficient already. It is the personality and the character which brings out the "self" in you, to "feature" your ordinary face into extraordinary you! The confidence and the wisdom you portray, those makes you standout among the people within.
Everybody has their own strengths to look upon, nobody is born to deserve to be unknown and to be ignored. And YOU!! To those men out there, YOU've made the society to become abnormal. And YOU!! Girls!! Why are you all going for plastic surgeries!? (I'm not against plastic surgeries, it's your own choice as long as you are happy) To make yourself all look the same? "Korean/ Japanese perfect features, hair, figures and etc" What's wrong with being "normal"!? What's wrong with having a little imperfections!? What's wrong with not following the trend to go for surgeries!? I know some of you, YOU already have really good features, hair, structure and everything but you're still not satisfied! Come on! The world is changing into a "clone" world just because of these bunch of girls, not satisfied with their existing pretty features and they make us all "normal" people thought that we are all UGLY!
NO!!! The world should't go like this!! The world should function well with those "unfound" talents all around us. The world doesn't function just based on your appearance. Let's say in this case, let's just make a pretty girl statue just to let you look at, all it does it for you to take pictures only. It doesn't move! Yea! That's what I'm talking about, a person with only good look & without portraying any personality in oneself, I'm sorry to say, you're just a vegetable, a vase.
I was once been criticized, stereotyped, biased, looked down because of my apperance. The society itself didn't allow me to function as human with my hidden talents. The reason why I always go hardcore to just slim down and lose weight, it's because I want to prove YOU wrong!! I want to break through this disfunctionally culture. Fat people are not ugly, they have just been abandoned by the society. Most of them give up trying to shine their hidden talents because they feel despair and tired of facing challenges during the process of becoming a better self. I'm trying to change and still continuing to get wisdoms, knowledge everywhere till the end of my life, and I know how it feels to be abandoned and not having any attention from anybody where you desperately want to show it to the rest of the world, you're just more than what they could think of.
All we want is chances and opportunities.
***Don't get me wrong, I'm not against plastic surgery, I'm against pretty people, I'm not saying it's not important to dress in a presentable way (Yea, it's manners, showing that you are being respectful for that occasion or to those people, so you need to.) It's just that, don't evolve into a society where only perfect looking people are acceptable.
***To those who tell me that appearance is not important at all and refuse to improve yourself. I know it's hard, the process of changing and adapting yourself into a new "You" it's challenging but you have to. It's a way to present yourself, a way to portray your character, what you dress, how do you do your makeup tells a lot about you. It shows whether you're an easy-going person or a daring person and etc. Please take your first step out from your comfortzone, being comfortable is not beneficial, it kills you slowly because you give excuses to yourself from getting the opportunities to improve.
***Please don't hate me for what I've said. It's just my sharing. I hope you would just give a little attention to this matter in this society. I am not an attention whore. In fact, I always kept myself hidden (low-profile) when I go out alone. I don't dress like some super star, or I don't dance Gangnam Style in the middle of the road to get attention. I am just the person who's bold enough to voice out some topics which the society think is not okay to talk about.
Lastly, who am I to talk about these? Well, I'm nobody, just no difference among any other normal people but what I have within me, only those who are interested to know more about me, get along with me well. They are friends and buddies, my family who are giving attentions to me. Keep themselves updated with what improvements I've gained.
Thanks for reading.
***2 years ago and the last picture on the right, it's the recent me. Didn't change much but I tried and yes, I'm still trying.
Best Regards,
YoonKhee Chin
Ordinary Malaysian Girl
